I can admit that I’m not, nor have I ever been, one of “those” writers: the ones who’ve known they wanted to be writers since birth and would never be able to do anything else. They live and breath the literary world. As much as I wish I was, I am not this type of person. I went to college with all these people and I wanted so badly to have that neverending, wicked strong, resilient passion that they did, but I just couldn’t. I don’t really know why. I know a lot of people would probably say “Its not really what you want to be doing”, but I think that’s bullshit. Everybody struggles, even with things that should come easy. I’ve wanted to do a lot of things with my life since I first realized how many great things there were to do in this world. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a whole lot of dreams. Now, In order to fulfill at least one, you need to focus on it completely. That I do know.
I guess I’ve always been bad at self-motivating or self-starting. Maybe not always, but when I was in school I had constant motivation. Most of this sounds like bullshit excuses, but I do know this is a plague of some writers. It has to be. I can’t be the only one. I wanted to say theres little-to-no immediate sastifaction in art, and then I realized that’s actually completely backwards. Just writing even one creative sentence is something.
To be an artist is to create; to pull from your mind, your imagination, and craft those ideas and visions into something concrete. You don’t need any sort of permission or allowance to be an artist. You don’t need a degree (says the girl with the expensive BA in Creative Writing). You don’t need an office to work in or a courtroom or hospital or a classroom. You can create anywhere, and that is the magical thing about it.
The only answer to any of this is to force myself. To get back into that writerly groove I was in when I was in school. That is the place I want to be in.
I can’t help it: I have an undeniable obsession with extreme weather. Most anyone who has met me, even once, knows this. Most people talk about the weather when they don’t have anything to talk about, but not me; I jump on any opportunity to talk about the weather and will typically spout off random bits of information about weather. Things nobody really cares to hear about.
Sample conversation:
Some person: “Crazy how hot it is today, considering how cold it was yesterday, huh?”
Me: “Well, not really crazy, per se. This is what’s known as a warm front and as the air moves upward, a storm will form. It’ll cool off once the storm is over though.”
That is usually followed by the classic “I was just making conversation” look I’m used to seeing.
Growing up in southern California did not really give me many opportunities to experience crazy weather, as it’s mostly sunny and warm (OH BOOHOO, I know). Most people in so cal hate when it rains and storms, but it would excite me to no end. I used to drive to the beach when it was storming, sit in my car in the parking lot and just watch the lightning out on the ocean. Hell, I used to get excited when it was WINDY, simply because it was something different.
Moving to the midwest has provided me with a lot more exciting weather: thunderstorms, crazy lightning, hail, blizzards, and the best of all, thundersnow. Thundersnow is when lightning and thunder occurs while its SNOWING, which is crazy to witness, let me tell you.
When the pressure in the air begins to build and I can see the dark black clouds begin roll in from the west, I buy a 12-pack of Shiner Bock, pull out a chair onto the back porch and watch the show.
If you ever feel like doing the same, I recommend putting on this song:
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